ORAL SEX- MAKE A DAMN MESS!

Before I go to sleep I usually like a good dose of inspiring talk from a talk show on the radio. It’s my anesthesia and calms me down especially if I have had a busy day. Usually, I listen to the sports talk shows but this time it was a soothing voice of a young lady called #CaleenDiedrick and her show #Life&LoveUnleashed. Her topic- Oral Sex in the Jamaican society.

I knew this was going to be exciting. Sex is a topic that sets up the grenade in any discussion and oral sex is the detonator to light the fuse.

Her voice was captivating, almost angelic. I started to create my own profile of the face behind that sultry voice. Yes, this was going to be good. She had her opening statement, gave a few instances of sexual anecdotes and then proceeded to accept her callers. It was at that point my night became a changing emotion of comedy and tragedy listening to the voices of the ignorant, the joker, the religious, the conservative and those having not a clue.

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Oral sex in Jamaica, and not surprisingly so internationally, is a topic culturally diverse as there are people in the world. Like most things within a modern society, oral sex has evolved over the centuries. It can be argued that society’s thinking on oral sex is shaped by cultural norms and traditions that are themselves shaped by religious norms and traditions.

Indeed in every society, the norms as it relates to sex is different, some governed by strict rules. India, for example, regarded as one of the birthplaces of the sexual revolution has its norms. As a youngster, I grew up reveling in the famous literary work of Karma Sutra outlining the different positions of sexual intercourse. The sexual thought that arose from reading that work had some effect on people in Jamaica, I being one of them.

But to say India alone is responsible for this sexual revolution is not correct. Western sexual proclivities have evolved and exported in the form of porn ably carried in the stream of social media. When watching porn for me was an activity reserved only for adults growing up in a puritanical society, I cannot say the same today. Porn is everywhere and on every device. It is a new religion and the younger generation are dutifully converted.

It, therefore, stands to reason that if sex is so widespread and available to everyone, can it be deduced the society is more adventurous in their sexual encounters despite very vocal shouts from mouths to the contrary? We have no scientific way of knowing as our democracy is technically still not one that dictates what happens in the bedroom.

But knowing human nature as we all do, we can say it is. Yes, there are people in this country that are experimenting with oral sex, hands down. And there are some that are not. There are people that enjoy exploring the different sexual avenues with their partners and there are others that stick to the traditional role play of slam bam thank you, ma’am! Yes, Jamaica we are no different from anyone else in the world.

Caleen was trying her best and did so successfully to express a similar thought in her discussion careful not subjecting anyone to her arguments but specifically asking those who think otherwise of oral sex to explain WHY they were against this revolution. This was the tragedy of the night. All of the naysayers could not express WHY they were against oral sex, except for one lady that said her vagina was made to pee and it is dirty down there and she told her children not to engage in oral sex as it is dirty. Nope, that was not me paraphrasing. Those were her actual words.

The surprise to me of the night was a fairly young gentleman, around 38 who said he had 3 kids with his wife, married for 15 years and they do not engage in oral sex because…. because, well because….and he could not find a ‘because’. Don’t be surprised, most men and women are at the same moment in sexual time. They don’t do it and they cannot express why they don’t indulge.

In this day and age of information, one would ask how come? Surely one should be able to express themselves. Was it for religious, health, social or other reasons? The one lady that was on the program did so crudely but those gentlemen against it all had problems expressing themselves. Some men are just mentally marginalized still grasping with their answers of their role as a man in a society that is trending towards matriarchal dominance.

Let us be honest and accept that women are becoming the more dominant partner in most sexual roles taking the sexual revolution to another realm of pleasure. Women are increasingly heeding the need to be pleasured and now insist on it. Some men on the other hand also feel empowered and are now expressing their desire to the pleasures of oral sex on THEM!

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The act of sex is far more than a slam bam, thank you, ma’am. Caleen expressed that. Many of her callers agreed with her, some of the freaks, and I use that word liberally, went far more to the left expressing the want for golden showers and anal wash. Oh yes, the revolution has blown out of your wildest imaginations.

Jamaican entertainer #Ishawana created a social eclipse when she dared to sing about this sexual explosion. Within that circle of cultural diversity, many of the male voices shouted No Way, dem not bowing!

Beware of those that shout the loudest. My inclination is if all persons who went down there were to suddenly become green, Jamaica would be a rain-forest.

The fact is no one really cares who is bending down, kneel at the altar, have a bikini burger, have a box lunch, have an egg McMuff or a fur burger! We are all human beings doing the same thing differently. Some are more exploratory than others, some cautious and some, well are just mentally and socially different. We are a product of the village where we grew up!

The lesson is if you haven’t tried it, don’t knock it! As generations come we are more educated on human norms and we get better at the things previous generations took for granted. Who knows pretty soon physical sex will become taboo and virtual sex will be the new rage of society. In fact, it has already started. Soon women will no longer need the use of men for sexual pleasures and they will experience phenomenal orgasms void of husband, boyfriend or pastor!

Men and women beware.

Hugh Hefner, RIP, once said the major civilizing force in the world is not religion. It is Sex! Do you agree? I certainly do. But we should accept sex for what it is.

When sex becomes a production or performance that is when it loses its value. Be mutual. Be loud. Be clumsy. Make noises. Be quiet. Make a damn mess!

Bite. Scratch. Push. Pull. Hold. Trust. Love the moment. Remove pressures. Embrace. Enjoy your body and your partner’s body.

Produce sweat. Be natural. Give into pleasure. Bump heads. Miss when you kiss. Speak words. Speak with your body. Touch your skins. Kiss your goosebumps. Play with their hair. Scream. Beg. Whimper.. Sigh. Let your toes curl. Keep the lights on so that you can look into their eyes when they explode.

Save expectations. Mess up your hair. Rid your masculinity and lose your ego. Detonate together. Collapse together and melt into each other’s arms.

Now, That’s SEX!

©2017 Kwesi. All Rights Reserved.

SEXUAL MYTHS DEBUNKED…

sexmythsRan upon this nice article and thought I would share it on my blog. It deals with the age old questions about SEX. As everyone is different some of you may not agree with a lot of the points raised. I have an issue or two with a  few but overall it is a good read.

Enjoy and leave your feedback!

LifeHack Article:

Despite living in the age of technology where the information of our race is freely available on the internet, there are still a lot of misinterpretations about sex. In this article, we’ll spend the next few minutes debunking sex myths.
1. Size matters

No, folks, size does not matter. It has been proven time and time again that size really doesn’t matter. In fact, it’s been shown that some women actually wish their partners were shorter or thinner! According to Debby Herbenick, men and women enjoy sex more when they’re psychologically into each other regardless of size.
2. Aphrodisiacs don’t exist

There is a multimillion dollar industry around selling people foods, drinks, concoctions, potions, lotions, pills, etc that claim to increase your sex drive. That multimillion dollar industry is full of it. There is no such thing as an aphrodisiac and there is no way drinking that weird, expensive smoothie is going to make your sex drive better. It’s just not happening.
3. Old people do actually have lots of sex

If you’re worried about getting it on when you’re older, don’t be. This chart (pictured above) shows that old people have sex quite a bit. Studies have also shown that more than 50% of people between the ages of 57 and 75 have engaged in oral sex at least once in the past year. Don’t worry, your golden years will be actually golden.
4. Pulling out is about as effective as condoms

I didn’t even believe this one when I first read it. According to a well publicized study, condoms have a 98% success rate when used perfectly. That same study concluded that pulling out had a 96% success rate when used perfectly. Since we are a world of humans and humans make mistakes, let’s assume they don’t get used perfectly. Pulling out drops to 82% when used imperfectly. Condoms? 83%. That means all you’re really doing when you put on that condom is preventing STDs, which means you should still totally use them.
5. The first time women have sex, it doesn’t hurt because of the hymen

This is a widely misunderstood rumor even among women. In reality, the first time being painful has nothing to do with the breaking of the hymen because, in most cases, the hymen is already broken through things like athletics, menstruation, self-exploration, and other things. There are a lot of rumors but the underlying commonality is this: when women are going through the anxiety of their first time and men are doing it wrong (which we often are thanks to the porn industry), it interferes with the woman’s ability to create natural lubrication. The resulting friction is what is actually causing pain.
6. Men are not intimidated by vibrators

Nope, not even a little bit. In fact, in most cases, men hope that you’ll pull out your toy to join in the fun. Not necessarily for use on us but for use on you. Vibrators have the advantage of being thrust by hand which takes way less effort than thrusting with a pelvis and they also vibrate. It’s like a cheat code for the female orgasm. If we can’t get it done or we’re not in the mood that night, the vibrator can be a life saver. That means it’s totally cool to pull it out and play with it. Just don’t say things like, “it feels so much better than you do.” That’s just mean spirited and cruel.
7. The g-spot does, in fact, exist

Yes, the elusive erogenous zone long thought to be a made up fairy tale is actually real. Researchers have found that the g-spot is an area of denser tissue between the vaginal wall and the urethra. The spot varies in placement from person to person but it is definitely there. We’ll leave how to find it up to the imagination.
8. Men can actually have multiple orgasms

As if our risk for death via heart attack wasn’t already high enough, it has been proven that men can actually have multiple orgasms. The key is that men often associate ejaculation with climax and that’s wrong. Men can only ejaculate once but if you come really close and back off at the right moment, you can actually get to climax without actually ejaculating. Then it’s a matter of calming down for a minute or so, then going back at it.
9. Women do, in fact, watch porn

Don’t try to deny it ladies. Researchers have proven that erotic images and video can stimulate sexual desire in women just as effectively as men so it’s just as likely that women derive enjoyment from pornography as men do.
10. Vaginal intercourse is not always the best way to bring a female to orgasm

Human sexuality is a widely unexplored concept for most people. You could have three kids and been married for 20 years and still not found what really makes you tick in the bedroom. There are fetishes, wires that get crossed (one woman out there can make herself orgasm by brushing her teeth), and various other stimuli that can affect what makes a woman truly enjoy herself. it has been widely publicized that clitoral stimulation is the best answer for what a woman really wants but even then that’s not a sure thing. Sexuality is like a fingerprint or a snowflake. Everyone has slightly different tastes and you can’t use the same moves on all women and expect them to work.

Men and women have been trying to figure out the best ways to have sex for enjoyment for thousands of years now. Thankfully, the point is to have kids so as long as you can accomplish that you’re doing sex right on a biological level. However, with a little exploring, a little research, and a little bit of adventurous spirit, you can find what works for you and your partner and everyone can, in fact, go home a winner.

From the site: LifeHack.

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A SEXOLOGIST 2 CENTS ON THE 2013 MTV AWARDS

 

 

 

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Dear Society,

If you think a woman in a tan vinyl bra and underwear, grabbing her crotch and grinding up on a dance partner is raunchy, trashy, and offensive but you don’t think her dance partner is raunchy, trashy, or offensive as he sings a song about “blurred” lines of consent and propagating rape culture, then you may want to reevaluate your acceptance of double standards and your belief in stereotypes about how men vs. women “should” and are “allowed” to behave.

Sincerely,

Dr. Jill

http://sexologist.tumblr.com

Thank you Dr. Jill for putting it so clearly. The broo ha ha is nothing more than our own insecurities and embarrassment manifesting itself along blurred acceptance of right and wrong, men and women relations and personal standards. 

SEX SELLS…..

Image A friend and I recently had a discussion on porn, its relevance and profitability. He was of the opinion that the industry was a monstrous bastard using the poor actors, and profiting from their images and video. I disagreed with him and wrote this response to a thread he sent me…

This is his feed….

….”many porn producers offer quick many and empty promises of fame and possible fortunes that never come into being because a porn models life is short lived and that model is only as good as the next pretty face that comes along and that’s a dime a dozen. I have come across many current and former porn stars who have no car or reliable transportation and many continue to be dependent on others for food and a place to stay. Some resort to escorting that is still not providing adequate support. Now, the smart thing for these so-called star to do is demand royalties and residuals from their works in the industry and the rights to their images. However, they continue to get tricked and by lame promises. My message is to all you potential porn stars guard your self against the victimization. DEMAND YOUR MONEY. DON’T BE FOOLED BY THE FAST TALK OF FAME

My response….

…….again you are blaming the industry…its a suppliers market….porn actors are not difficult to find..everyone wants to experience their freaky side…thanks to mainstream media for the advancement and glamorizing of SEX porn studios are only capitalizing on it and some are making a killing. Now you are also basing your points on only a certain segment of the market – the ones I call ‘amateur’ actors who do not get the most for their craft. Its not the industry’s fault…they can say YES or NO..period. But the lure of quick money and personal gratification gives the studio an advantage. And guess what- the one that says no there are 100s out there that will say yes. Similar with the music industry and the movie industry…there are those who do not have cars, sleep around and offer sex for personal advancement – is anyone blaming those industries? Brother..I hear your points but look at the situation from a broader perspective ….the porn industry is just one of many industries that has the opportunity of a vast amount of supplies..to do the job they have..keeping the price in their control…in this case demand is ever increasing , supply unchanged, a shortage occurs leading to a higher equilibrium price. Hence studios pay the market value and keep producing new content to keep up with the demand. Sex sells. Its the supplier , porn star, that must value his product and demand to be paid for it. Some actually do get handsomely paid.

What do you think? Do you agree with my friend or do you see things differently? Please share your thoughts.