20 THINGS LEARNT AT 50

50-yard-line

I recently read an article from a 25-year-old blogger Kayley Kravitz on things she had learned on reaching the big quarter century 25. Is was interesting , funny and real. So I thought I would add my lessons learned on reaching 50.

1. LIFE IS ABOUT 2 THINGS: To do or Not to do.  It’s as simple as that. Whatever choice you make know that it will come back to either haunt you or set you free!

2. FRIENDSHIP IS ABOUT CHEMISTRY:  After 50 years you have seen many, met a lot, hung out with a few and have a few you call  your friend. Friendship is about chemistry; you can’t force it to exist where it doesn’t the same way you can’t deny it when it does. Good friends are like stars- you don’t always see them but you know they are always there.

3. GIVE BACK: No one has ever become poor from giving. If you haven’t given back not even a minute of your time, then you are like a tree without roots. Old clothes, furniture, gifts at christmas, money, time, talent, yes even one of your organs if you have to . You learn that at 50 giving is much a part of life as breathing.

4. EXCUSES ARE OVERRATED: In your teens you live by them, in your 20s you associate everything you do with them, in your 30s you use them for power, in your 40s you here them daily from associates and places you go and in your 50s you have no tolerance for them. You can now admit when you are wrong, move on and never make the mistake again. You cannot understand why everybody else lives by them. In other words, you say to yourself and others -Fuck excuses!

5. MUTE-YOUR FAVORITE PASTIME: You develop this unbelievable talent to MUTE everything and anything that destroys your karma!

6. TRUE LOVE IS ABOUT MAKING UP: If you have never argued with the one you love  to the point of breaking up and making up, your relationship did not start. You realize a relationship is about starting over with the same person many times over and over. Love is only perfect in fairy  tales.

7. BE YOUR OWN FUN: You appreciate the joy of your own space and you can have fun with your inner soul.

8.  WOMEN: You learn that the only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is wet or she is under the hair dryer. Otherwise look out.

9. PEOPLE DONT CHANGE: You realize that people never change neither do organizations. You just get to know them better.

10. FREE YOUR MIND : You get to appreciate that one of the greatest mental freedoms is truly not caring what anyone else things about you.

11. LIVE YOUR RULES : You live your rules and your rules become your life: In this house we do second chances, we do grace, we do real, we do mistakes, we do I’m sorry, we do hugs really well, we do love , we do family. You express it and those who don’t abide cannot leave too soon.

12. HOLD INFORMATION: In this age of information you learn there are 2 rules, 1. Never give out all the information.

13. DON’T ARGUE: You learn never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty. Besides , the pig likes it.

14. WANT OUT: Always, always have an escape plan. Shit happens. Flush it and move on!

15. REVENGE NEVER WORKS: You don’t believe in revenge. Your years have proven that it does not work. So you wait on Karma, it has no deadline.

16. AGE IS NOT IMPORTANT: A concept society has created is this thing called age. Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90. How you use you time depends on your attitude. Age is not  important unless you are a cheese.

17.   BEEN THERE, DONE THAT : Yes that phrase is actually true. People, places, things and all the experiences you have had keeps coming back at you and you realize that you have been there, done that and sometimes regretted it . Unless its new or has changed it bears no interest to you. Life is not one big roller coaster of events that keeps rolling along. Everything ends.

18. RELAX: You realize that yes we can relax. Life is not a competition. We are all crazy. People will always empty you .You just got to get your refill. When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.

19. RELIGION & POLITICS ARE LIKE A PENIS : It’s fine to have one, its fine to be proud of it but don’t whip it out in public and start waving it around.

20. HONESTY TURNS YOU ON: Nothing turns you on more than honesty. You don’t need perfection. You just need honesty. If you could walk with a motto on your head it would be  “Quit the bullshit and tell me the truth”.

I WISH YOU ENOUGH

I recently received this posting from a friend on Facebook and I thought I would post it to my blog. It is powerful yet simple to understand . I hope you all find it fulfilling as I did.

I WISH YOU ENOUGH
Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter’s departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said:
you and I wish you enough.”

The daughter replied, “Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.” They kissed and the daughter left.

The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry.
I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?” “Yes, I have,” I replied. “Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?”

“I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral,” she said.

When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, “I wish you enough.” May I ask what that means?”

She began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.

“When we said ‘I wish you enough’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them”. Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory,

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.”

She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them.

– Author : Bob Perks