20 THINGS LEARNT AT 50

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I recently read an article from a 25-year-old blogger Kayley Kravitz on things she had learned on reaching the big quarter century 25. Is was interesting , funny and real. So I thought I would add my lessons learned on reaching 50.

1. LIFE IS ABOUT 2 THINGS: To do or Not to do.  It’s as simple as that. Whatever choice you make know that it will come back to either haunt you or set you free!

2. FRIENDSHIP IS ABOUT CHEMISTRY:  After 50 years you have seen many, met a lot, hung out with a few and have a few you call  your friend. Friendship is about chemistry; you can’t force it to exist where it doesn’t the same way you can’t deny it when it does. Good friends are like stars- you don’t always see them but you know they are always there.

3. GIVE BACK: No one has ever become poor from giving. If you haven’t given back not even a minute of your time, then you are like a tree without roots. Old clothes, furniture, gifts at christmas, money, time, talent, yes even one of your organs if you have to . You learn that at 50 giving is much a part of life as breathing.

4. EXCUSES ARE OVERRATED: In your teens you live by them, in your 20s you associate everything you do with them, in your 30s you use them for power, in your 40s you here them daily from associates and places you go and in your 50s you have no tolerance for them. You can now admit when you are wrong, move on and never make the mistake again. You cannot understand why everybody else lives by them. In other words, you say to yourself and others -Fuck excuses!

5. MUTE-YOUR FAVORITE PASTIME: You develop this unbelievable talent to MUTE everything and anything that destroys your karma!

6. TRUE LOVE IS ABOUT MAKING UP: If you have never argued with the one you love  to the point of breaking up and making up, your relationship did not start. You realize a relationship is about starting over with the same person many times over and over. Love is only perfect in fairy  tales.

7. BE YOUR OWN FUN: You appreciate the joy of your own space and you can have fun with your inner soul.

8.  WOMEN: You learn that the only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is wet or she is under the hair dryer. Otherwise look out.

9. PEOPLE DONT CHANGE: You realize that people never change neither do organizations. You just get to know them better.

10. FREE YOUR MIND : You get to appreciate that one of the greatest mental freedoms is truly not caring what anyone else things about you.

11. LIVE YOUR RULES : You live your rules and your rules become your life: In this house we do second chances, we do grace, we do real, we do mistakes, we do I’m sorry, we do hugs really well, we do love , we do family. You express it and those who don’t abide cannot leave too soon.

12. HOLD INFORMATION: In this age of information you learn there are 2 rules, 1. Never give out all the information.

13. DON’T ARGUE: You learn never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty. Besides , the pig likes it.

14. WANT OUT: Always, always have an escape plan. Shit happens. Flush it and move on!

15. REVENGE NEVER WORKS: You don’t believe in revenge. Your years have proven that it does not work. So you wait on Karma, it has no deadline.

16. AGE IS NOT IMPORTANT: A concept society has created is this thing called age. Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90. How you use you time depends on your attitude. Age is not  important unless you are a cheese.

17.   BEEN THERE, DONE THAT : Yes that phrase is actually true. People, places, things and all the experiences you have had keeps coming back at you and you realize that you have been there, done that and sometimes regretted it . Unless its new or has changed it bears no interest to you. Life is not one big roller coaster of events that keeps rolling along. Everything ends.

18. RELAX: You realize that yes we can relax. Life is not a competition. We are all crazy. People will always empty you .You just got to get your refill. When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.

19. RELIGION & POLITICS ARE LIKE A PENIS : It’s fine to have one, its fine to be proud of it but don’t whip it out in public and start waving it around.

20. HONESTY TURNS YOU ON: Nothing turns you on more than honesty. You don’t need perfection. You just need honesty. If you could walk with a motto on your head it would be  “Quit the bullshit and tell me the truth”.

SEXHALL vs REGGAE – TESSANN THE LATEST VICTIM

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The music industry, notice I said Industry, is  big business and it has changed like everything else over the years and  is still evolving.

Has it got everything right? No. Like most things it’s a hit and miss, today for me, tomorrow for you. Reggae may have started from the shores of Jamaica but it cannot claim its exclusivity anymore just like the US claiming creativity.

Has Jamaica perfected the music genre in the last 50 years? The jury is still out on that but frankly we have not done ourselves any favor by not significantly and effectively managing and marketing our music and again that’s not entirely a fault of ours. We did not have the resources, the know how or connections to bring any international standard to the genre . The music at the time was localized to Jamaican musicians experimenting with the new ‘sound’ and soon others jumped on the reggae wagon and used it. Chris Blackwell comes along and took a chance and it paid off and guess what , the world started to listen to reggae through Bob. The movie ‘Harder they Come’ with Jimmy Cliff made one of the biggest introduction of reggae music to the world. The lyrics  of reggae music promoted love, friendship, a higher well-being and joy. The point is not until the music got into the hands of foreign resources and capital did it get any worldwide recognition and became a part of the music industry.

Jamaica’s music has evolved and seems to be focusing on  what I call “Sex Hall”  much to the disadvantage of persons like Tessann, Beres, Dianne King, Third World, the Marleys and all those  musicians  that we candidly call “Reggae Artiste” , whose voice  and music can only be appreciated by an overseas market , bigger than the Jamaican market, with a more eclectic taste of music. So Tessann taking the leap is no surprise. She, like so many others, do it for survival , show me the money.

At best she gets a recording contract and at worst she gets the promotion for a talented reggae artiste and a female one too. Remember there is sexism in the business as well.  Our reggae artiste do not and cannot make any real living here at home they all have to go abroad where the industry plays to a much wider market. The industry thrives on networking, experimenting and promotion and Jamaica , whilst it may think of itself as hip with culture, is still a texting society. Technology is gathering knowledge faster  than how the Jamaican society gathers wisdom.

How can we improve this? It starts with education from the homes to the school and to the business places. It involves a clear commitment on the part of Government through its new Ministry of Entertainment & Culture to have a vision and working with all sectors of the economy use the talents and resources to give reggae its rightful place in our culture.

It means the JTB through its marketing machinery using Reggae, the brand, as its marketing tool and not just sand , sun and sea; It means the JMA and the PSOJ think outside  the box and put in their budgets consistent opportunities for local reggae artiste to perform ; It means the local artiste understanding the art of writing and executing the art of performance; It means employing technology  to promote the music worldwide; It means understanding that music , like everything else requires discipline of thought and purpose and protecting the creativity is as important as performing. How can you protect your industry without enforcing the laws of copyright and intellectual property? Finally it means a paradigm shift in Jamaica’s culture of mediocrity. That may be a bigger challenge than Tessann winning The Voice.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT POLITICIANS

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While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. 

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. ‘Welcome to heaven,’ says St. Peter. ‘Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.

We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you. ‘No problem, just let me in,’ says the man. ‘Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up.

What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity. ‘Really, I’ve made up my mind.

I want to be in heaven,’ says the senator. ‘I’m sorry, but we have our rules. ‘And with that, St.Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are a ll his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator raises…The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. ‘Now it’s time to visit heaven. ‘So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.

They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. ‘Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven.

Now choose your eternity. ‘The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: ‘Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell. ‘So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. ‘I don’t understand,’ stammers the senator. ‘Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time.

Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened? ‘The devil looks at him, smiles and says, ‘Yesterday we were campaigning….Today you voted.’

And there you have it  friends. A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

 

PEOPLE NEED PASTORS, NOT POLITICIANS

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“We have to find a new balance, Otherwise even the moral edifice of the church is likely to fall like a house of cards, losing the freshness and fragrance of the Gospel. The church’s pastoral ministry cannot be obsessed with the transmission of a disjointed multitude of doctrines to be imposed insistently. Pastors “must be people who can warm the hearts of the people, who walk through the dark night with them, who know how to dialogue. . . . The people of God want pastors, not clergy acting like bureaucrats or government officials,”
Pope Francis .

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT SLEEPING

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT SLEEPING

I recently heard a joke about sleeping -I went to the doctor last week. I said: ‘Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?’ He said: ‘Why?’ I said: ‘She’s woke up.’
I still laugh whenever I hear this joke but do you realize human beings have very little to do with their internal clock? There are some who has tried but never succeeded. Enjoy your rest time- your body is wired to do it.

ENGLISH THE HARDEST LANGUAGE..period!

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There are as many languages in the world as there are people but none too difficult as the English Language. The language  has many meanings depending on how you phrase the sentence and its syntax. The spelling can throw off the language in a heart beat, so too the sound of the language, just ask the Japanese or the Germans, poor things.
Then there are the subtle ordering of sentences, you know, how you put the words together- the best example is adjective ordering. Compare, “a cute little puppy” to “a little cute puppy.” The first is fine, while the second sounds wrong. How is a foreigner to know which order to use? Can you explain it to them? (There is actually a method, but it’s rather complex and better to just learn subconsciously)
Because of its diverse origins, English has lots of synonyms which seem very similar in meaning. Part of the problem is knowing which words to use when. Even if their official meanings are identical, different synonyms convey subtly different moods and ideas. You can watch a movie or see a movie, but you can only watch TV, never see it. You can’t view either of them, even though when you watch either of them, you become a viewer (and never a watcher, much less a seer!) Try explaining that to someone who speaks Arabic!
Some people who study Spanish think the verbs there are bad. English is stuffed full of irregular verbs! How come the past tense of “buy” is “bought”, and the past tense of “sell” is “sold”, and neither “buyed” nor “selled” are real words? In English, it’s very strange how the whole grammar of a sentence changes when the sentence is put in question form. “It is warm” becomes “Is it warm?” Notice how the “it” and the “is” are switched. To us, this is totally natural because we’ve been raised with it. To a lot of speakers of other languages, the whole device seems needlessly difficult.
Then you have the order of words- how and where you put things. “I hit him”, in its word order is still important and basically correct – “Him hit I” is totally incorrect unless your name is Yoda. We can go on but you get the picture – English is difficult. Just be glad you don’t have to learn it as a second language!
 Here are a couple of the difficulties seen in public places. They  make you wish you were there to offer a correction.
In a Bangkok Temple :
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER,
IF DRESSED AS A MAN.Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor’s office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombasa , leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERSFROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES 

Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

  • Hotel, Malaysia
  • “SPECIAL TODAY, NO ICE CREAM”
  • In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
  • YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany ‘s Black Forest :
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN,LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE..

Hotel, Zürich :
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT  THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

  • A Laundry in Rome :
  • LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window :
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…
And so it is…or is that Old English?

 

30 EASY LIFE FIXING PROBLEM SOLVERS

Most of us go through life with a lot of small problems that you sometimes wonder how can you fix it. We even throw away little things believing that they are of no use. Well here are a few  every day life experiences that we all suffer and go through. The good news is there are ways to solve them and the answer was right in front of us. Hope this enlightens your day as it did mine.

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